The excitement of stuffing a bike-shaped bike into a box-shaped box must be similar to what Doctor Who’s assistant experiences the first time he or she steps into the Tardis and discovers it’s bigger inside than out.
But there is an art. So, first, catch your bike box. They’re known to congregate in groups around the back of bike shops. You’re best to get an unflattened box. If you talk nicely to the bike shop man, he’ll probably be happy to give you a box. As in other aspects of life, though, size does matter. The difference between eventual frustration or delight might be half an inch or so in the dimensions of the box.
Then get some sturdy duct tape, the kind Nasa uses to stick their rockets together, and tape up the bottom and corners. Next get your bike, take off all the accessories, racks, pedals, front wheel and handlebars. Zip tie the front wheel onto the frame. Twist the front fork 180 degrees, rotate the handlebars and gently shove them through the front wheel spokes. The bike should now look box-shaped.
And, if you’ve chosen the right size of box, it should drop in nicely. (If you haven’t, this is when you swear to your favourite deity about why she didn’t make space-time more elastic. And then you go and get a bigger box from the bike shop.)
Apply padding and liberal amounts of duct tape to the outside of the box. Leave the top open for the nice people at the airport to check inside for non-bikey substances.
